Parenting Tips

PRINCIPLES FOR PARENTING

•    Permissive Parenting focuses only on results, Authoritarian Parenting focuses only on methods, Biblical Parenting sees the importance in both.

•    Give the reason why behind your commands.  Without the moral authority behind what you say, there will be no reason for your children to hold to those principles when you are not around.

•    Goal:  that our children be governed by values from inside.  Laws of the land change, moral absolutes don’t.

•    Goal:  that our children value the preciousness of others.  This includes others feelings, property, physical well-being etc.

•    A married couple is a complete family, children just expand the family.  Children are not the center –God should be!

•    The quality of parent-child relationship is dependant on the quality of the husband-wife relationship.  Husband-wife relationship must take priority.

•    The holiness of your child is more important than the happiness of your child.  In the end, their holiness will bring about true happiness.

•    Children are naturally self-oriented; we must teach them to be others-oriented.

•    Don’t parent for the moment, parent for the future.

•    Be proactive not reactive.  Don’t parent for conflict avoidance, parent for conflict resolution.

•    Never use church or any Christian activity as a “punishment”.

•    Level of punishment should be determined by the value of the offense.

•    Train your children to move from regret to repentance.

•    There is a difference between Childishness and foolishness.  “Time-outs” are for childishness – require your children to say they’re sorry; spankings (chastisement) are for foolishness (rebellion) and require repentance.

•    Children will rise to whatever level you hold them accountable for.  When you shoot for zero, you’ll hit it every time.  The problem is rarely that we hold our children to too high a standard. Behavioral problems are almost always the result of not holding them to a high enough standard.  If you hold your children to first time obedience, they can do it and will be better off for it.

•    Goal incentives should be for skill, not behavior.  Then it becomes bribing.

•    A token spanking will produce a token repentance.

•    Our children should be happy for other’s victories

•    All kids are strong-willed (determined), but are they strong-self-willed (Self-controlled)?

•    Peer pressure is only as strong as the family identity is weak.

•    A child should have no greater influence in their lives, than loving parents.  I have never known any time when my kids have been around other kids and returned more well-behaved.  Keep a close eye on how much time your kids spend outside the family.

•    A good test is to ask yourself, do other people enjoy my children?